Magic's Choice
by saoirse09
Summary: SPOILERS! Set after Vanyel dies in Magic's Price, but before he comes back to stop Stefen from killing himself. It's his choice to return to protect Valdemar. Recently informed I have some canonical mistakes so be warned. I won't change it, I have no time


"Magic's Choice: The Shadow-Lover"

A Last Herald-Mage fanfic

By: Saoirse

*****SPOILER WARNING*****

(You have been warned)

This is a fanfic set after Van refuses Leareth's offer on page 328 of Magic's Price (in fact, I've taken the beginning directly from page 328). So yes, he has just died. I merely thought, since Ms. Lackey included the Shadow Lover offering a choice to Vanyel in Magic's Promise, it was a pity she didn't have this same kind of scene in Magic's Price as well, where Vanyel chooses to come back to eternally protect Valdemar. So I wrote one. Enjoy! (Btw, after the story are the poems "The Shadow-Lover" and "Magic's Price" by Mercedes Lackey, along with links to the music versions of each.)

**Disclaimer**: Mercedes Lackey owns The Last Herald-Mage trilogy and all characters, ideas, and themes therein. I own nothing.

"Her strength added to his would be enough – just enough – to overcome Leareth's protections on a Final Strike.

Vanyel raised his eyes to meet Leareth's, and with one smooth motion, mounted and settled into Yfandes' saddle, and answered the mage's offer with a calm smile and a single word.

'No.'"

Vanyel opened his eyes, sat up, and looked around. He appeared to be in a bright clearing surrounded by misty forest, with a path before him that forked close to the edge of the glade. Slowly, memory returned. _I was just in the mountain path, facing Leareth. And I used Final Strike. Which means… I must be dead._ He stood up and stretched, trying to decide if death felt much different than life. He was a lot less sore and definitely warmer, that was for sure. Feeling a little surer of himself, he began to explore the hollow. This glowing clearing amid a vast dark forest was not exactly what he had expected to find after dying because, for one thing, it definitely didn't appear to be the Havens.

"Vanyel." The smooth voice came from behind him and the very tone promised rest and peace such as the Herald-Mage had never known. He knew that voice.

Vanyel blinked and, turning, caught sight of the speaker. It was a Herald, softly glowing, timelessly beautiful. "Lord Death," he replied, bowing slightly.

The Shadow Lover moved towards Vanyel, His striking sapphire eyes never leaving the Herald-Mage's face. This time, Vanyel had no trouble meeting the other Herald's gaze. He held out His arms and Vanyel collapsed into them, exhausted, basking in the peace he had never had time for, had always been denied, while alive. Lord Death smiled gently and gathered Vanyel closer. "You have done well, my love. I am so proud of you."

Vanyel simply buried farther into Death's comforting embrace.

Resignation laced the Shadow Lover's voice as he continued, "But I'm afraid nothing can ever be easy for you, my Vanyel."

The Herald-Mage looked up, confusion evident in his weary silver eyes. He had given his life to protect Valdemar; what more could be asked of him? "What... what do you mean?"

The sapphire-eyed Herald sighed. "You remember when last we met, how you were given a choice?"

Hesitant, Vanyel answered, "Of course."

"Well, you have been granted another such choice now, dearheart," explained Lord Death. "You can choose to go on to the Havens. You'll receive a hero's welcome; you can rest for as long as you like and perhaps choose to be reborn as a Herald or Companion sometime in the future. Or… you can go back now."

Vanyel was stunned speechless. A choice… but… "What about my body? If I were to go back now, that is. Wasn't it-?"

"Yes, your body was destroyed."

"So then, how can I possibly go back now?" queried the utterly confused Herald-Mage.

"As a spirit, attached to and part of the forest in which you died."

After thinking for a minute, Vanyel said slowly, "That means… that I would be able to protect Valdemar for eternity. Right?"

The Being nodded. "Yes, love. You would protect the people you have fought so hard to keep free."

Vanyel thought for another minute, then, tentatively asked, "But I would never be able to return here, would I? And I would be alone." He added, as a statement, not a question.

The Shadow Lover looked saddened. "On the first part, no, dear one, you would never again return here. Eternity is eternity. But that doesn't mean you have to be alone."

"What? But… who…?"

Another voice spoke at that moment, one Vanyel knew better than Lord Death's, better even than his own. "That would be me, Chosen."

The Herald-Mage turned and, taken aback by what he saw, asked, "Yfandes? Is that really you?" For before him was not the sparkling white Companion he knew so well. Instead, he saw a stunning mahogany-haired, bronze-skinned woman with brilliant, wise blue eyes clothed in a silver-gilt white gown. In fact, she appeared much as the woman who had sometimes flickered in and out of his vision when he gazed at Yfandes in life.

The woman chuckled warmly. "Yes, _ke'chara_, it really is me, only in my true form. And as for my choice," now she turned to Lord Death and curtsied politely, "I choose to be with my Chosen. Whatever he decides, by that I will abide."

The Shadow Lover nodded, accepting her choice, then turned to Vanyel once more. "You may have a few minutes to make up your mind, dearest. I told you once before that I can hold back time. But do not take too long, or your path may be chosen for you." With that enigmatic warning, Death backed away, giving the Herald-Mage and his companion a moment of privacy.

"So, Chosen, what do you think?" asked Yfandes, almost shyly, indicating her humanized form.

"You're as beautiful as ever, dear one," Vanyel replied, smiling, embracing her. She blushed prettily and hugged him back tightly.

"I've always wanted to do that," she admitted, grinning, but then her face grew serious. "What are you going to choose, Van?"

Vanyel sighed, running his fingers through his dark, silver-streaked hair. "I'm not sure, 'Fandes. I know what I want to do and that's to rest, to simply give up my burdens and find peace. But… I just can't leave Valdemar helpless! I can't! I wouldn't be who I am anymore if I did."

Yfandes nodded, knowing already what he had chosen and agreeing that it was the only choice he could make. She hugged him once more, then they both turned to watch as Lord Death made his way to them again. He looked at Vanyel, his decision clear in his silver eyes, a determined set to his chin, and bowed His head, acknowledging the Herald-Mage's choice. "Very well, love. And once again, I have never been happier to lose. You are a very special man, Herald Vanyel."

Lord Death embraced him one last time, then watched as Vanyel took his Companion's hand and turned to the path that would take them back to the forest, back to the world, and back to protecting Valdemar. But before they were gone, he stopped them. "Oh, Vanyel, one last thing."

Turning again, the Herald-Mage and his Companion waited for the being to continue.

A smile played around His eyes as he said, "You may want to find your lifebonded soon, dear one, before he makes a mistake you may both regret. Ignorant of your choice, he is even now planning to die by his own hand, thus unknowingly remaining separate from you for all eternity. But he has a choice, too. He can choose to live his life showing the people, as no one but a Bard can, that Heralds are not merely a substitute for the Herald-Mages now lost, but a power in their own right. If he takes this path, when his task is complete, he will be given the chance to join you and Yfandes in protecting Valdemar. Instruct him wisely, Herald Vanyel; his choice will affect many, not least of all yourself."

And Vanyel watched in astonishment as Lord Death bowed and melted into the mist drifting through the trees. Yfandes laughed, a sound like silver bells. "You'll soon be catching flies, Chosen." Vanyel shut his mouth and grinned sheepishly, then said, "Still as feisty as ever, aren't you, 'Fandes? Come, let's go find that silly Stefen and keep him alive for us and Valdemar, shall we?" And they, too, faded into the misty forest.

Well, I hope you enjoyed the story. And I apologize for any inconsistencies with the rest of the Valdemar books, such as having Yfandes appear as a woman instead of a horse; I've only read this one trilogy out of the whole series. And, well, she could turn into a horse again after they leave this "wood between the worlds," as it were. I mean, it would probably be a little easier on Stefen, who's never even had those flickers that a horse might not be her "real" form, like Vanyel has. Oh, as a little extra treat, I've included the poems "The Shadow-Lover" and "Magic's Price" since they were part of the inspiration for this story. Also, here are links to the songs on youtube, so you can listen to them if you'd like: "The Shadow-Lover" – .com/watch?v=939mNzdDm1Q&p=56515A8EBAC2D6C9&feature=BF&index=6 and "Magic's Price" – .com/watch?v=n73uvJlADEc&p=56515A8EBAC2D6C9&feature=BF&index=4 **(both without the spaces between youtube and .com naturally)**.

The Shadow-Lover

By: Mercedes Lackey

Shadow-Lover, never seen by day,

Only deep in dreams do you appear.

Wisdom tells me I should turn away,

Love of mist and shadows, all unclear –

Nothing can I hold of you but thought

Shadow-Lover, mist and twilight wrought.

Shadow-Lover, comfort me in pain.

Love, although I never see your face,

All who'd have me fear you speak in vain –

Shadow-Lover, gentle is your hand

Never could another understand

Shadow-Lover, soothe me when I mourn

Mourn for all who left me here alone,

When my grief is too much to be borne,

When my burdens crushing-great have grown,

Shadow-Lover, I cannot forget –

Help me bear the burdens I have yet.

Shadow-Lover, you alone can know

How I long to reach a point of peace

How I fade with weariness and woe

How I long for you to bring release.

Shadow-Lover, court me in my dreams

Bring the peace that suffering redeems.

Shadow-Lover, from the Shadows made,

Lead me into Shadows once again.

Where you lead I cannot be afraid,

For with you I shall come home again –

In your arms I shall not fear the night.

Shadow-Lover, lead me into light.

Magic's Price

By: Mercedes Lackey

Every year Companions Choose, as they have done before,

The Chosen come with shining hopes to learn the Herald's lore.

And every year the Heralds sigh, and give them the same advice –

_"All those who would hold Magic's Power must then pay Magic's Price."_

Oh there was danger in the North – that's all that Vanyel knew.

An enemy of power dark sought Heralds out – then slew.

But only those with Magic's Gift were slain by silent rage –

Till Vanyel of them all was left the only Herald-Mage.

Yes, from the North the danger came, beyond the Border far –

The Forest did not stay Dark Death, nor did the mountains bar.

And Vanyel cried – "We die, my liege, and know not why nor where!

So send me North my King, that I may find the answers there!"

Then North went Vanyel – not alone, though 'twas of little aid

A Bard was like to be to him; and Stefen was afraid –

He feared that he would fail the quest, a burden prove to be –

Dared not let Vanyel go alone to face dark sorcery.

So out beyond the Border there, beyond the forest tall,

Into the mountains deep they went that stood an icy wall –

To find the wall had cracked and found there was a passage new,

A path clean cut that winding ran a level course and true.

This pass was wrought by magecraft; Vanyel knew that when he saw

The mountains hewn by power alone, a power he felt with awe –

But to what purpose? Something moved beyond them on the trail;

They watched and hid – and what they found there turned them cold and pale.

An army in single file, by magic cloaked and hid –

An army moved on Valdemar that marched as they were bid –

A darker force than weaponry controlled the men and place,

For Vanyel looked – and Vanyel knew an ancient evil's face.

Then Vanyel turned to Stefen, and he told the Bard to ride

To warn the folk of Valdemar – "They call me 'Magic's Pride.'

It's time I earned the name – now go! I'll hold this army back

Until the arms of Valdemar can counter their attack."

So Stefen rode, and so it is no living tongue can tell

How Vanyel fought, nor what he wrought, nor how the Herald fell.

The Army came – but not in time to save the Herald-Mage,

Although the pass was scorched and cracked by magic power's rage.

They fought the Dark Ones back although they came on wave by wave.

No trace they found of Vanyel, nor of his Companion brave –

They only found the focus-stone, the gift of Stefen's hand –

Now blackened, burned, and shattered by the power that saved their land.

They only found the foemen who into the woods had fled

And each one by unseen, uncanny powers now lay dead.

As if the Forest had somehow bestirred itself that day –

Had Vanyel with his dying breath commanded _trees_ to slay?

And still the forest of the North guards Valdemar from harm –

For Vanyel's dying curse is stronger far than mortal arm.

And every year the Chosen come, despite the old advice –

_"All those who would be Magic's Pride must then pay Magic's Price." _


End file.
